Do People Really Change?

“People don’t really change,” says a relationship expert troll to princess Elsa in Disney’s Frozen.  Yes, I just quoted a children’s movie, but for the first time, there is some real truth here for people of all ages.  Somehow when we women (yes, this happens to men too but I will stick to the female protagonist in this story for now) hear miraculous stories of individuals who were once bad, misfits, or convicts change into a redeemed person with better moral character, we think to ourselves,  wow, that’s great!  And we sometimes even draw divine conclusions like, “God must have touched his life.”  And you know something, God probably did.  And then to add to the confusion, we watch movies…worse…romantic chick flicks.  Gosh,  I love myself a good chick flick.  I can laugh and cry at the same time, while subconsciously idolizing the couple’s love for one another, and then fantasizing that maybe one day my knight in shining armor will come sweep me off my feet.  That perfect God-fearing, kind but confident guy who is just a ideal short of realistic.  Yes, you’re laughing or thinking “how ridiculous” but hey, it’s the sad truth lol, and that’s what the romantic comedy movie industry banks on.  And there are those movies where the guy started out arrogant or criminal, or something unlikable in real life, and when he meets the woman of his dreams, he begins to change and finally, before the credits fade in, his true heart of gold is revealed and they live happily ever after.   Seriously true love or not?  Here’s how this pot of confusion is stewed –  we take the true stories of change and combine them with the chick flick stories of change and begin to believe that the current boyfriend who you don’t like or love entirely will eventually change.  If you just love him more, he will change.  If you just show him a better life in you, he will change.  If he sees God in your life, he will change.  Well I hate to break it to you, and I hate to break it to me, but from personal experience – they don’t change.   People don’t really change.  What you see is what you get.  People change themselves if they truly want to and that only happens if they see a serious need for it.  Most people don’t see a serious need for change and sometimes are not motivated enough to do so.  Sometimes if they do change, it’s a superficial metamorphosis just to temporarily appease you.  Those stories of men becoming better people are stories told time and time again because they’re rare.  No one likes to share a story that happens all the time.  You’ve heard of that particular example of change because it unqiue.  Yes, people do change, but only a few good batch actually do.  One has to really question,  am I with the few or the majority.   To continue playing the melody of this tune,  if one has to ask that question,  then one is hoping the other will change, and that’s no good.

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